I regularly receive calls from concerned parents because their child is lying. The reason: ALL kids do it! But all lying isn’t the same and all “lies” aren’t even lies.
One of the biggest challenges for parents these days is managing their children’s use of electronic devices. Devices are the source of many power struggles for modern families. As a parent or caregiver, it’s your responsibility to set limits. Every family’s values and schedules are different, so limits on devices look different from one family to another.
Many parents feel powerless when it comes to their kids because they cannot get their kids to listen and do the things they want. What they do not realize is that there is so much unspoken power that they hold that they are forgetting to access. It is the power of nurturing a human being, and the kind of relationship we have with them, that will help define who they are and what they do for a lifetime.
Most parents don’t think of bedtime as an opportunity to connect with their child. Typically, we as parents associate bedtime with a frenzied battle zone in which we are trying to get our child to cooperate and complete tasks such as taking a bath, brushing their teeth, or putting on jammies. In order to make the most of this window of time, I suggest two things:
The election season is in full swing, and discussion about the various candidates permeates our homes and schools. An election year is a wonderful time to teach children about the electoral process and issues being debated, such as immigration, terrorism, and healthcare. But the media and most voters also spend a lot of time and energy debating the character of the candidates, their behavior, and how they represent themselves, so the election process also presents parents with a plethora of unique opportunities to teach core social-emotional skills, such as empathy, emotion management, and social problem-solving while addressing topics such as accepting differences, dealing with gossip, bullying, and name-calling.
All humans struggle for power and control over their own lives and young children are no different! Ideally we want our kids to do what we need them to without us having to do anything more than merely ask. Let's not kid ourselves, that is just not going to happen most of the time. "I said so" or "you have to" is about us asserting our power over them and can feel disrespectful to the child.
Our children have little to no control over much of their daily lives. That is why most power struggles revolve around their physical self or body.
The smile that lights up your day; that laugh that warms you up with joy and optimism; the ability to show you the world through innocent eyes: kids can be such amazing parts of our lives with their constant ability to learn and grow, teaching us how to see the big picture and to love someone so much it hurts.
And then they learn the word “No.”
All humans struggle for power and control over their own lives and young children are no different! Ideally, we want our kids to do what we need them to do without us doing anything more than merely ask. Let's not kids ourselves; that is just not going to happen most of the time. "I said so" or "you have to" is about us asserting our power over them and can feel disrespectful to the child.
As a parenting coach and educator, I often meet parents distressed by their children’s potty accidents or bedwetting. They ask: Why is it happening? Will my child outgrow it? What can I do? I recently discovered a terrific resource for answering these questions: Steve Hodges, M.D., a pediatric urologist at Wake Forest University School of Medicine.
“Toileting accidents are really common — I would say epidemic — but in toilet-trained children, they are actually not normal, and parents shouldn’t wait around for these issues to resolve,” says Dr. Hodges. “They are totally fixable.”